Therapure
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What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
You can want to speak up and want to stay quiet at the same time. Internal Family Systems, or IFS, offers a way to listen to those competing responses without deciding that one makes you a difficult person.
What does IFS mean by parts?
A part might be the side of you that checks every detail, the voice that criticizes you afterward, or the urge to leave when someone is upset. These are ways to describe experience, not separate identities.
I might ask what a response is trying to accomplish. Instead of arguing with it, we can notice its concerns and how long you have relied on it.
What are protectors and exiles?
In IFS, managers try to prevent pain through responses such as planning, pleasing, or staying in control. Firefighters react when distress is already present, perhaps by withdrawing or distracting. Both are understood as protective roles.
Exiles is the model's term for parts carrying vulnerable feelings or painful experiences. These categories are a framework, not labels you must accept. We do not push into difficult memories before you are ready.
What is Self in IFS?
Within the IFS model, Self is distinct from parts. It describes a capacity to relate to your experience with curiosity, calm, and compassion. You do not have to earn it by becoming perfect.
In a session, we might notice the difference between feeling angry at a response and feeling curious about it. That change in perspective can give us another way to approach what is happening.
What does an IFS session feel like?
I may invite you to notice a feeling, thought, or sensation and ask what comes with it. You can speak aloud, pause, or tell me that the question does not make sense.
For example, we might stay with the pressure to agree rather than immediately practice saying no. I ask whether the pace feels manageable and leave room for the protective response to remain.
How do I use IFS with other approaches?
I blend IFS with psychodynamic and narrative ideas when they fit the conversation. We can explore family history or question a harsh description of yourself without giving every feeling a parts name.
Individual sessions are 45 minutes, online in California, Arizona, and Missouri or in person in Manhattan Beach. You can ask about IFS in a free consultation. See Rates for private pay details and information about superbills.
What Else Might You Want to Know?
Do I have to visualize parts?
Does having parts mean something is wrong?
Can I say I dislike this approach?
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