TherapureGuides
Couples Therapy or Individual Therapy?
A relationship concern does not automatically mean you need couples therapy. Sometimes you want to understand your own response first. Sometimes the conversation needs both partners present. I start by asking what you hope to talk about.
When might couples therapy make sense?
If the difficulty happens between you and both partners want to participate, couples work lets me hear each perspective. We can pay attention to an argument as it unfolds instead of relying on one person to describe it afterward.
I mainly use EFT to examine the cycle between partners, including what each person feels and does when connection seems uncertain. Both people need room to speak and respond.
When might individual therapy be a better starting point?
You may want privacy to explore family history, uncertainty about the relationship, or what happens when you shut down. Individual therapy can focus on your choices without requiring your partner to join.
I do not use your account to diagnose someone who is not present. We can take your experience seriously while recognizing that I am hearing one perspective on the relationship.
Can we do couples and individual therapy at the same time?
Some clients participate in both. Before beginning, it helps to discuss each therapist's role, the purpose of each space, and what information can be shared with your permission. Coordination should not be assumed.
Ask about confidentiality and how overlapping concerns will be handled. Seeing the same therapist individually and as a couple raises different questions from working with separate therapists, so we would discuss suitability rather than promise a particular arrangement.
What if my partner will not come?
You can ask what worries your partner about therapy without trying to win an argument about attending. They may be concerned about blame, cost, or being pushed toward an unwanted decision.
If they still decline, individual work can help you consider your reactions, limits, and options. It cannot make another person participate or change. Your own questions still deserve attention.
How can I discuss the decision with you?
In a free consultation, describe what keeps happening and whose participation you are considering. I can explain how I work and discuss which format may fit, including when a referral is more appropriate.
My individual appointments last 45 minutes and couples appointments 60 minutes. I see clients in Manhattan Beach and online in California, Arizona, and Missouri. Visit Rates for private pay information; possible insurance reimbursement should be checked directly with your plan.
What Else Might You Want to Know?
Must we be certain about staying together?
Will you take sides?
Can individual therapy address conflict?
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