TherapureGuides
Your First Couples Session
You may worry that the first session will turn into another argument or that one of you will tell the story better. I do not expect a polished account. I begin by making room to hear what brought each of you here.
What will you ask us first?
I want to hear why you reached out now and how each of you understands the difficulty. I may ask when you feel close, what a disagreement usually looks like, and what you have already tried.
We also discuss relevant history and practical concerns about meeting. Each person may remember events differently. I am listening for both experiences rather than requiring a single agreed account before we can begin.
What do we need to prepare?
You do not need a list of every argument, a speech, or proof of who started it. If there is one recent moment you want help understanding, you can bring that. Coming without an example is fine too.
For online sessions, preparation is mainly practical: privacy, a connection that supports video, and uninterrupted time. Tell me ahead of time if being together in the same room feels difficult or if you plan to join separately.
What if we argue during the session?
I may slow the conversation, ask one person to finish, or help separate what happened from what it meant to you. I do not want the hour to become a replay that leaves both people feeling unheard.
My EFT approach attends to the cycle between you. A sharp response and a retreat may each be trying to manage hurt. Understanding those reactions does not excuse harm or make every situation suitable for couples work.
How do we set goals?
I ask what each of you would like more room for: discussing money, expressing needs, understanding distance, or responding differently during conflict. Your goals may overlap without being identical.
We can put those hopes into ordinary language and return to them. A goal is something to work toward and discuss, not an outcome I can guarantee. It can change as you understand more about the relationship.
What happens after the first appointment?
We discuss whether continuing feels appropriate, what the work may focus on, and scheduling. One appointment does not require you to make a long-term decision immediately. Questions and hesitation can stay part of the conversation.
Couples sessions with me last 60 minutes, in Manhattan Beach or online in California, Arizona, and Missouri. I offer a free consultation before beginning. Visit Rates for private pay information, superbills, and the cancellation policy requiring 48 hours' notice.
What Else Might You Want to Know?
Will you decide who is right?
Can one person be more hesitant?
Must we share everything immediately?
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Start with a free consultation.
A short, no-pressure call to see whether working together feels right. Naomi will confirm a time with you.