Therapure
Guides
What to Expect in Premarital Counseling
Getting married brings decisions about more than a date or a guest list. Premarital counseling gives you time to discuss how you make decisions together, what each of you expects, and what becomes difficult when you disagree.
What topics do we discuss?
We can talk about finances, parenting hopes, intimacy, household responsibilities, and relationships with extended family. The point is not to agree on every detail, but to understand what each issue means to each of you.
A conversation about spending may involve security or independence. A holiday decision may involve loyalty or belonging. I ask about the feelings and family experiences behind the practical position.
Do we need a problem to come in?
No. You can come because you want room for conversations that keep being postponed. Wedding planning can make it tempting to focus on deadlines while leaving expectations about the marriage unspoken.
You can also bring concerns you already disagree about. I do not grade your readiness or give a relationship a pass or fail. We discuss what each of you wants to understand before making further decisions.
How does EFT fit premarital counseling?
I mainly use EFT to look at how you reach for each other and respond when that connection feels uncertain. We might notice how a request becomes criticism or how a pause is heard as disinterest.
I help you describe the concern underneath the familiar response. That can include a wish to matter, fear of disappointing your partner, or uncertainty about relying on someone. We work at a pace both people can follow.
How many sessions should we expect?
Some couples want to focus on a few specific topics; others want longer-term work on recurring patterns. We discuss your concerns, available time, and how the conversations are going rather than promise a fixed package.
Sessions are usually weekly, with frequency discussed based on clinical appropriateness. A wedding deadline does not require us to rush a difficult conversation or assume that everything needs to be resolved before that date.
Can we do premarital counseling online?
I offer 60-minute couples sessions by video for clients located in California, Arizona, or Missouri, and in person in Manhattan Beach. Online work needs privacy, a reliable connection, and enough uninterrupted time for both partners.
You can ask about format, availability, or my approach during a free consultation. The Rates page explains private pay and superbills. Ask your insurance plan specifically about couples services; receiving a superbill does not mean reimbursement will be approved.
What Else Might You Want to Know?
Do we need to prepare answers?
Can we talk about different family expectations?
What if we discover an important disagreement?
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