Couples Therapy

Is Couples Therapy Worth Trying?

You may be weighing the cost, the time, and the possibility of another difficult conversation. I welcome those doubts. Considering couples therapy does not require certainty that it will help, or agreement about everything that needs attention.

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Two woven oak chairs on a stone terrace beneath an olive canopy above the coast

At Home

An honest question, not a commitment

Perhaps you have tried talking at home and keep reaching the same ending. Or things are mostly manageable, but you are tired of measuring every word. Wanting support does not mean you have failed at being partners.

I think the question deserves more than encouragement to book an appointment. What would make the time useful to you? What worries you about coming? Those answers matter when considering whether this work fits.

Underneath

What you would be making time for

Therapy involves looking at your own responses as well as your partner’s. That can feel uncomfortable, especially when you want someone to understand how much you have already tried. I make room for that frustration without promising a particular result. We can name what you want to understand about your own responses. Perhaps you want to know why you retreat during conflict, or why a delayed reply feels so upsetting. Those are concrete questions we can explore together.

If there is coercion or fear of your partner, speaking openly together may not be safe. Couples therapy may not be appropriate; consider seeking individual support to discuss safety before deciding about joint sessions.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

What EFT adds to the conversation

I use Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, to identify the repeating exchange beneath different arguments. Criticism and silence, for example, can become a loop in which each person’s response increases the other’s distress.

Instead of only settling the latest disagreement, I help you notice that loop and put words to the fear or hurt underneath. We practice asking for connection more directly. This is work we explore, not an outcome I can guarantee.

In Session

The practical side of trying

Couples appointments are 60 minutes. My practice is private pay, with superbills available; review current fees as part of your decision. Please allow 48 hours of notice for cancellations or rescheduling.
I offer in-person sessions in Manhattan Beach and secure video sessions. Online appointments require both partners to be physically in California, Arizona, or Missouri, whether you are together or joining from separate locations.

When to Reach Out

You can ask before deciding

A free consultation gives you room to ask how I work and describe what you hope to address. You can also tell me what has felt unhelpful about previous attempts to talk, at home or in therapy.

If one partner is unsure, I want to hear their concerns without asking the other to argue them into attending. A consultation can include questions, without an agreement to begin therapy.

Questions