An oak table and linen window seat looking onto dry California hills

Family of Origin

Growing Up With Emotionally Distant Parents

There was food, a place to sleep, and someone getting you to school. Still, you may remember handling your feelings alone. I make room for that loneliness without asking you to dismiss the care you received.

What It Feels Like

When the Missing Part Is Hard to Name

You might struggle to explain what was missing because there is no single event to name. Perhaps nobody asked about your day beyond homework, or sadness quickly became a problem to solve rather than something to hear.

As an adult, you may minimize disappointment, hesitate to ask for comfort, or feel embarrassed when someone notices you are upset. Receiving care can feel unfamiliar even when you have wanted it for a long time.

Underneath

Care and Distance in One Family

I do not need to label your parents as uncaring to take your experience seriously. Practical support and emotional distance can exist in the same family. Acknowledging one does not require erasing the other.

We can consider what happened when you cried, needed reassurance, or disagreed. Psychodynamic work looks at how those early interactions may influence what you now expect from friends, partners, and other important people.

Our Work

Making Room for Mixed Feelings

Narrative work gives us room to question a familiar story such as 'I had everything, so I should not complain.' We can find language that includes gratitude, hurt, affection, and disappointment without forcing a verdict.
Through IFS, or Internal Family Systems, I might ask about the part that insists you need nobody. We can understand how self-reliance helped while also noticing moments when carrying everything alone feels exhausting.

In Session

Then and Now

I provide 45-minute individual therapy online for clients located in California, Arizona, or Missouri, and in person in Manhattan Beach. You can bring a childhood memory or something that happened with your family this week.

We do not have to spend every session discussing your parents. I also pay attention to present relationships, asking for help, and what happens between us when you expect your feelings to be overlooked.

First Steps

Beginning With What You Remember

You might start with one question: when something hurt as a child, who knew? Notice what comes up without grading your childhood. An unclear answer or a mixture of memories is enough to discuss.

A free consultation offers time to tell me what feels difficult now. You can ask about my approach and share any hesitation about discussing family experiences. I do not require you to arrive with a particular label.

Questions