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Couples Therapy

In-Laws, Family and Boundaries

A message from a parent arrives, and suddenly you are arguing with your partner. I help couples understand why family requests can feel so charged and talk about boundaries without losing sight of their relationship.

At Home

When family plans become couple arguments

Perhaps visits happen without much discussion, private details get shared, or one partner feels responsible for keeping everyone happy. You may agree that something needs to change but disagree about who should say it.

I listen for both experiences: the strain of feeling outside your partner’s family circle and the strain of feeling pulled between people you love. Neither experience tells the whole story on its own. A parent asking for another phone call may sound like a small request until it interrupts the only evening you have together. I want to understand that everyday context. We look at your responses when family requests compete with time together.

Underneath

What a boundary can bring up

Saying no to a family request can bring guilt, sadness, or worry about disappointing someone. Asking your partner to say no may carry another worry: that your needs will always come after everyone else’s.

I help you separate the practical question from the emotional one. Deciding when a visit ends is different from asking whether your partner will stand beside you when a family member is upset.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Working with the pattern between you

Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, helps us notice what happens when these worries collide. One partner may push harder for a limit while the other defends their family, and both end up feeling alone.

I slow the conversation so we can hear what each response protects. Then we practice expressing the need underneath: reassurance, support, or room to disagree. A boundary conversation can include feelings as well as arrangements.

In Session

Time for the actual conversation

In our 60 minute couples sessions, we can examine a recent disagreement rather than debate every family event at once. I may ask what you noticed, what you feared, and what you wanted your partner to understand.
Appointments are available in person in Manhattan Beach and through secure video. Both partners must be physically in California, Arizona, or Missouri for online sessions, even if you connect from different locations.

When to Reach Out

Bring the disagreement you keep postponing

A free consultation is a chance to tell me what family tension looks like at home and ask about working together. You do not have to arrive with an agreed boundary or a shared account of the problem.

I offer private pay therapy and can provide superbills. Current fees are available to review beforehand. If plans change, please provide 48 hours of notice for cancellation or rescheduling.

Questions